Monday, March 24, 2014

Almost There Update

       Less then 3 weeks to go. I started this prep diet crap in mid January. As only the second time around I'm certainly not a veteran bodybuilder but it also wasn't as epic this time either. I guess it's cause I kinda know what to expect now. It is also missing a training buddy who will actually stick it out with me.  I'd like to say time has flown by but then I'd be a liar. Some days are tough, especially when other things around you might not be going that well.  Sometimes I wanted to quit. That was rare though.  I enjoy the training so much. I enjoy seeing my progress from last time around. I weighed 4 weeks out what I did when I started prep last season and I only have days to go. So I'm happy. Very happy.

        Well, that glorious moment I remember from last time has come. The doubt that sometimes creeps in is gone.  That moment when I look down and can't believe this body is mine.  My hard work and dedication can't be denied because it's right there screaming from the roof tops!! It all can't be denied by even my harshest

 I can see every ab and suddenly it was all worth it.  Not so much because of the way I look for these few weeks, but more because of what this look means.  Setting goals and accomplishing them. Sticking it out through the good and the bad.  Not caring what a judge, society or anyone else thinks is beautiful, and embracing what awesomeness I built, because I could.

 I was a fuck up for so many years that it's nice to have that sense of pride in something. I'm not saying I don't fuck up ever now, but it's nothing like being an active raging alcoholic fuck up like I was back in the day.  Its way more plain and boring fuck ups now. Which is GOOD.
     Plus the addict in me probably helps me find some success in something like this.... One track mind, obsessing over getting all of it in, planning my days around one thing.  I mean looking back it was always something with me.  If it wasn't drinking, it was church.  If it wasn't church, it was AA. If it wasn't AA, it was cycling, if it wasn't cycling , it was CrossFit and so on. Always balls to the wall.  At least now I try to balance things a little better.  I still fail miserably sometimes, but it keeps getting better, and I'm more mindful of it now so... it's a WIN.  Thank God my husband is absolutely fantastic with all my mess!  Plus he's a really awesome athlete sponsor and being hot as hell doesn't hurt either. 

Progress, progress, progress.  Positive, positive, positive.  Learning, growing and always trying to move forward. 

I can't wait to get on that stage.  I will be up there posing with confidence next to all those big girls like I'm armed with a pro card.  I love it. It's so much fun up there. I can't wait to compare my pics from my first show with this one because I tried hard to get better and I think it will show.  Believe it or not I just do this weird madness for fun. So this go around has been pretty awesome. It seemed easier and less tiring for the most kart. This prep has definitely been another positive growing experience in many, many ways.  I can't wait to go out to eat with my family and order off the menu!! I can't wait to get that last thirsty hell week out of the way for a while! I can't wait to eat pizza in a blinged out bikini!!!!! Haha!! 

Have a great week! 



1 comment :

  1. You look so amazing Shayna!!!! Your legs are WAY bigger than last time. No more chicken legs! :)