Sunday, December 15, 2013


     With the New Year quickly approaching I've been thinking about goals.  Should we set goals for the prize or is it more about who we become while attaining them? I think it's mostly getting there that is important.  It's where your character comes in, and without that, not much else matters.

     So word on the street is I'm going to be a paleo challenge team captain on January first for CrossFit Sanford.  Let's use this 30 day challenge as an example.  So, is something like this supposed to be about the money you win, the inches or weight you lose or is it about something much bigger? I think it's about the process.  You see, it will get tough.  You will get tired and cranky and start detoxing from all that sugar and wheat.  You will start slobbering for cake and bread.  This is when it is time to shine.  You committed to a goal, so no matter how bad you want something ( or frankly feel like you need it because your body is soooooo addicted to it) you must ignore what you want. You made a commitment and even though no one else may be watching, you would know if you cheated.  When you fight that battle and you win the next battle is easier. You feel good and confident about yourself and you go into the next battle stronger then ever.  Then the battles get even easier until it just becomes habit.  When you give in and are constantly starting over it weighs on your conscience. It makes you feel like a piece of shit.  You feel guilty and it makes the goals you set much harder to attain in the future. Starting over is harder.  For sure. 

       The process makes you stronger.  The process builds character. Sometimes stumbling is part of the process, we just can't let that be what happens on the regular. Every time you win a battle on the way to your goal, no matter how big or small it may be, you are becoming way fucking better.  When things get tough and you stick it out the next challenge won't be nearly as hard.  30 days may turn into 60 or 90 or forever. 

      So I've been struggling just a bit with my upcoming goals.  Am I getting too muscular? Am I not muscular enough for WPD? Am I getting too fat? Are my legs ever going to fucking grow? Can I actually do that many comps in a row before I take a break? I mean having a leg day every three seconds is mentally getting tough. It's human nature for a bit of doubt to set in sometimes.   I just have to constantly remind myself that I'm doing the best I can.  I mean I do love it. I enjoy getting better at my weaknesses and I have a BLAST training hard. 
    I've been seeing people's reactions to me in restaurants and stores as my body changes. They whisper or stare.  It pisses me off because people gawk at me in a tank top but don't even notice the line of morbidly obese asses riding electric carts down the aisle. Apparently that is the new norm and I'm the freak. I decided that in my mind I have a goal about the upcoming season. I'm not going to let society or anyone else dictate what I want to be. I will take it one day at a time like anything else.   Beautiful to me might not be the same as it is to the masses. It doesn't matter. Time to put my nose down and accomplish what I set out to do. It's not ever the time to worry about what other people think. There may or may not be a trophy at the end of this but either way I will be better for it.  No doubt. 

I changed a ton getting to and staying committed to that last competition.  I've never been happier in my life and marriage because years ago we committed to make it work. I grow stronger each day that more sobriety time goes by.  It feels good to stay true to yourself and be proud of it. 

     You are strong.  Don't give in.  You are better then that. 

Pray I wake up Christmas morning and I am BLACK IN THE BACK and HAVE A GREAT WEEK!! 

Sunday, December 8, 2013


      Yup.  I do!! 167 to be exact! I haven't weighed that much since I was pregnant. I mean I know most people would not look at me and go "God damn she is fat!" , but if you've known me for any length of time, you know for me...yeah I am. ( Disclaimer: I'm not calling myself fat in a derogatory way. I just weigh more then ever and this is how I write. I understand this is part of my game of globo ass GAINZZZZ, so please don't start with the fat is a bad thing crap.)  Im a monster biggie girl for sure. I'm eating a TON  and lifting heavy.  Honestly this chubby chubbton belly of mine is a good trade off.  I've always been the super tall skinny fat girl, and I hated it....well except that one year in high school when all I did was smoke weed and eat candy from the store I worked at, then I was just plain fat.  Even though this six pack of mine is hidden under some extra pounds right now, I don't care....THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'VE HAD ANY KIND OF BOOTY!!!! HELL YEAH!!

     Anyway, this can't be the healthiest thing to do.  I'm sure I'm gaining tooooo much weight for off season... I dont know. It's fine.  I'm not surprised though cause it's ALWAYS all or nothing with me. EAT, EAT, EAT and drink gainer.  I'm just hoping there is a little more muscle left after I diet down then I had last competition. At the Golds Classic I was the thin stick physique girl of the top bunch. I looked great and getting there was my goal and for then I was happy with that. My goal still isn't a certain place or a first call out.  I'm not worried about national levels of any kind. My goal is to fight against these genetics like hell and have a bigger ass then I did in June. My goal is to NOT be the tall skinny physique girl this go around whatever competition it may be.  I want some of those girls to look at me all orange and greased up and think to themselves " that's my competion".  I WANT TO SEE IT WRITTEN ON THEIR FACES.   I work hard and I want that.  Just once. 

Me now and in June. 

So.... I'm a fatty...for now.  It's really not that many weeks until prep starts anyway.  December and January will fly by.  I think I may compete in April. Going in this time I have a better grasp on what's going to go down.  There's no dreams of staying super lean all year and never eating garbage when the competion is over.  In fact I'm brainstorming right now with my kid about what goal is next... Is it boxing, a cage fight or climbing a mountain? I don't know.  All I do know it's not a marathon.  I'm not squatting nearly 3 times a week to burn it all up! DUH!!! 

Training is going great and I'm trying to get my abs back into good shape after surgery.  They feel a bit weak still.  Other then that my lifts are through the roof, I guess fat people are stronger ;).  I had a great weekend in Atlanta with my husband.  BMW is good to us and we had a blast. Eat and train for your goals and have a great week...or two or three, I've been slack on the blogging. ;)


Saturday, November 16, 2013

One Year.

      It's been a year exactly since my dad passed away.  He's the whole reason this fitness journey, this blogging and this attitude change started.  I feel like I would be doing myself an injustice, if after all this, I didn't document how the whole mourning process went over this year.  I'm not a life coach ( although believe it or not some crazies message me and think I am.) I'm not a shrink or an expert on death or how you should mourn. In fact I'm not an expert at anything but working out and doing most other things half ass.  I do know what has happened to me over this year emotionally, and how I was effected, so that's the story I can tell. Maybe someone out there can relate or maybe I'm just a weirdo, whatever.  I'm sure this will get long winded so feel free to turn back now. Here goes.....

      You can take a quick visit here before I go on if you like (     ).  That way you got a recap and you understand what happened and how close we were if you didn't already know the story. I mean for a quarter century we only had each other.

     Early last November I remember the last day he smiled at me. I was over joyed and hopeful that he woke up for a little while.


 I will never forget it.  He was always so happy, laughing and smiling all the time no matter what. It was contagious. Then the morning of 17th as I sat there in hospice at the nursing home, holding his arm, my cheek on him, I watched him take his last breath. It was amazing. It was an honor. You could just feel the peace as it moved through the room. The sun began to come up and shine through the window. It was like the angels came to take him for me and my worry was gone.  I was relieved for him and happy he was not suffering.  I was tired.  And I expected to sob and sob but I didn't. I stopped and got a flu shot ( weird I know, I'm surprised I didn't stop for a pap smear too) and went home and slept for hours and hours. 

          Still no REAL crying.  I was angry though.  Very fucking angry and I was looking for anything or one to take it out on! Luckily that passed quickly. I even did things like adopt another dog and do this fitness competition to fill the void. Days and days turned into weeks and there was still no giant cry.  I began to feel very guilty over it. In fact one night it consumed me to the point where Greg called the hospice therapist on call.  I've ignored them every time they have reached out at this point because I felt I didn't need it.  I'm stubborn and I'd rather joke about things then really deal. I talked to her for a while, she was great, she made sure I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong and she assured me that one day the break down would come. She was right as rain and it poured....

      On they way home from regular activities I began to get choked up and anxious and then suddenly while driving down Ramsey St, the bottom fell out.  I can remember the song that was on: All I could think was I wanted to go back and I wanted time to slow down. I've never cried like that in my life.  My heart hurt so bad I wasn't sure I was going to survive.  My husband called me right in the middle of all this and it's like he knew it was coming.  "Pull over Shayna". " No I'm almost home".  He assured me he was on his way.  When he got there I was still balling and sobbing.  He held me and let me cry for what seemed to be an eternity and then like always I slept. It was excruciating, but at least it finally did happened and the guilt was gone. 

       You see people assured me it would get easier as time went by.  I know it is, but honestly it doesn't really feel like that at some moments. I cry more now since the big breakdown then I ever did before.  Thankfully these moments are short lived even if it may be almost everyday. You see, a little reminder of something he loved, or a song or a picture or driving past his home can just bring me to tears. I just want a hug from him.  I can just think of him right now and tears will well up in my eyes.  Luckily when the tears come now they are usually accompanied with a smile and a great memory.  Not many people get the privilege of a relationship like my dad and I had.  Not many at all.  It's the kind of shit people write movies and books about because its so fucking magnificent. No wonder my heart hurts so bad.  

      It wasn't just him either that went bad this year.  I mean I have a great life and I need nothing.  My husband provides for us like a champ and our family is incredibly blessed. I honestly am extremely happy everyday and have to basically pinch myself sometimes. Most normal days my biggest decision is to go to the gym again or nap...  But this year I was also slammed with people leaving.  My BFF who helped me take care of my dad, and was there for us both so much  ( we grew up together in PA and found each other again in Ft Bragg) had to move to a different base in Kansas.  DEVASTATED. I WAS DEVASTATED.  Then just a couple months later my buddy beyond any other buddy had to go back to Washington state for the army!  I WAS A TRAIN WRECK. I STILL AM. So we trained together everyday, spent hours together every morning and she was gone too.  Fucking army.  So even though I'm not alone..... I know I have great friends and family...This year still felt pretty damn lonely. 

     Losing people sucks. Duh. I don't keep as many close relationships as I did when I was younger because quality wins out.  It's ok though. I'm a big girl and we do cry sometimes. I know my friends not being in town didn't help this mourning process of mine. I guess mourning is different for everyone. Maybe some people have the big cry right away or constantly for weeks. Or maybe some people just stay angry forever.  I don't know.  I know this has all made me stronger and I step back and look at it all and feel incredibly lucky.   For me to get so upset over these relationships means they are absolutely priceless and can never be replaced.  People wait their entire lives for something so special to come along and some never get it.  Luckily I get to visit my best friends once in a while and keep up with them on the daily.  As far as my dad is concerned it brings me great peace to know that he's looking down on me proud as hell. I know he is proud of the woman I have become.  He keeps sending great blessings our way and I'm happier with my life then I ever could of imagined a few years ago. No doubt. 

I donated my dad to Duke University Medical School.  He was a teacher himself and would want good to come out of his passing. He always insisted on not having any big service or anything and he wants his ashes dumped in the Mon river. Which by the way is HYSTERICAL! He was so funny.  I joke with Greg all the time that we are going to come home and Norm is going to be waiting for us on the porch... In a box...from Duke..USPS.   Haha!  He could arrive anytime now and we will immediately head to PA to fulfill his wishes. I know he would of wanted to help others who are sick.  He was a great man and he gave a great gift. 

Stormin Norman you are missed beyond words.  I love you Dad!!! :)  


Saturday, November 2, 2013

I Didn't Die?...

      Holy shit I made it!! It wasn't as bad as I thought..or maybe it was.  I mean, after surgery I did sit on the couch in the same sweat shirt for like 2 1/2 weeks, watching nothing but Maury and Jerry Springer, and ate only bread and candy.  I was in a bad way, no doubt.  My legs were so hairy and I didn't smell the best either.

But it went fast. I pulled myself out of my funk and started going to the gym just to get on the stairmill. I'm now lifting light and back on a good schedule. Only 2 weeks from Monday and I will have the green light to go heavy. I'm so excited I may burst!! It's consuming me!! Next competition season is right around the corner!!  Bring it on holidays because after you pass I may find myself eating every three hours out of Tupperware for like 5 months straight ;) sounds miserably AWESOME!!!!! Wooohoooooo!!!!

    My diet sucks but whatever.  I'm at peace with my off season self.  Even with so many weeks off for that stupid gallbladder.  I feel great after resting so long at least!
Pizza tastes good, biscuits taste good, snickers taste good.  I still eat really high quality meals for the most part but I'm not holding back on crap right now either.  Bring it!  Anyway, it took me a while to unfuck my mind from thinking that I needed to look competition ready all the time.  I'm definitely all the way over it now and the other day at CrossFit proved it.  All I kept thinking while I was jump roping and lunging for 40 minutes was " Thank God I'm not covered in sweet sweat and layers of clothes. I'm so happy I can feel things jiggle when I jump. My boobs are giant! I feel strong and voluptuous!" And I do.  But I also can't wait till my body starts changing again sometime after the holidays. It's so fucking cool and who the hell doesn't want 8 pack ABZZZZZZ?!?!! Duh!!!

      I guess my point is, do what makes you happy and feels good.  Don't worry about others and thinking they may be whispering things like, " she has gained some weight" or " I hope she doesn't get to much more manly muscle" or "you'd think she'd be further along by now with her lifts". It's probably mostly in your head anyway. 
Eat and train for YOUR goals and prepare for some bumps along the way, just dont let them get you down ( at least for too long anyway, JERRY SPRINGER SHOW NO SHOWER SHAYNA!!AHHHHHH!!!!).  Remember where you started and how far you've come. Don't focus too much on how much further you need to go.  If you do you may end up like me having nightmares that you look down and your legs are ACTUAL chicken legs.  I'm a lunatic ;).

 2 weeks till squats.  Lets see if I can blow my last competition pics out of the water.  I bet I can.  

Don't stress, learn to love your ever changing self, every battle you win wether it is big or super small counts and have a great week!!! 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

My Name Is ____ And I'm Proud Of It All.


     No fucking some of you already know fitness fills a void of alcohol for me and I've been gratefully sober for years now. So I'm home from a awesome vacation and the impending doom of this gallbladder coming out is kinda like a black cloud hanging over me....T minus 6 days but I'm ready to get this show on the road! 

     I'm obsessing about not being able to work out for 6 weeks...bad.  Really bad.  It's normal for me though. Once an addict always one FO SHO!  It's nice that I'm healthy enough mentally at this point in my life to realize what's going on though and handle it accordingly. I'm very thankful for that and I'm proud of it.  Which brings me to my point.  This past week has been amazing and I've had a minute to reflect on it. I've been to Venice rubbing elbows with everyone from company executives to service techs. I've been to my husbands high school reunion and actually enjoyed meeting everyone. It doesn't matter who I sit down with or where. I can kill it in the middle of Europe at a five star resort or at a cruddy coffee shop down the street.  I can remember years ago when anything like this would of made me nervous and uncomfortable and I would just shut down.  When I relied on my husband to do everything down to a simple phone call. Never again and here's why.  I love myself and I'm proud of who I am and where I came from doesn't matter the situation. I love walking into a room and dominating it. The people that truly matter love me being me, soooooo, whether I'm around the pope or a homeless guy on the corner of Ramsey St, I am who I am and they can take it or leave it, either way I'm going to act the same. 

      When you stop caring what others think you will thrive as your own person and people will end up flocking to you. You automatically start changing for the better when you think positively about yourself.  I may not be a rocket scientist or some kind of millionaire financeiere but I am who I am and this skin is the most comfortable on earth to me now. I'm proud of my lows, and believe me there were some pretty dark days. They have brought me to these highs of happiness and I look around at my husband and child and have to pinch myself sometimes.  I can't believe how happy I am and im so thankful that we didn't pussy out and we worked hard to change and make our life completely awesome.   None of this started happening until I started treating myself right and being proud of me. Having confidence no matter the situation.   Doesn't matter if you are a house wife, a hooker or doctor.  Take pride in it, be yourself and everything will fall into pace.  At first it is work and then it just happens. 

     Now time for me to put my head down and take this opportunity of workout hiatus to grow stronger mentally and regrain focus.  I need to remind myself that's it's not that bad of a hand to be delt so I need to think positive about my 6 week "rest".    Oh boy..... Ugh....

Be yourself, don't try to act like someone you aren't,  and remember:  lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.  Ever. 

Have a great week! 


 Ps: I do need to mention that I am detoxing from all my crap food right now therefore attempting to not get a murder charge tonight.... Seriously.  It's bad.  Wish my family luck!!

Please check out my page :) THX!!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

How Off Is Off Season?

      How off should off season be?  I mean I guess in a perfect world we would hit the gym beyond hard everyday and stick to an off season diet.  I don't though.  I mean come on. I want to have a good time! Hobbies are supposed to be enjoyable and i have to try my best to not constantly obsess or over compete. I had the perception that I was  going to stay all trim and cut after I was in prep mode but NO WAY!!! Being a off season fatty is fun and trying to grow big muscles is even more fun!  Honestly its not like I'm actually fat anyways and I feel great and you can still see a couple abs when i stand up!! I mean, I just made that paleo blackberry cobbler my bitch and then I'm gonna squat tomorrow at sets over that is what I'm talkin bout!!! 

      I can't wait to do another competition though.  I am not happy that getting this gallbladder out is putting a wrench in my plans. I didn't want my off season to be quite this long.  I also wanted to do a October oly comp with my kid :( Not  lifting makes me sad. My chicken legs will be back with a vengeance in no time... Ugh.  Hopefully 6 weeks goes by fast and it doesn't take me long to get back where I was.  :). 

"Bulking" ;). Hehehehehe.
 In other words not doing cardio and eating what ever the hell you want!! When I am in Italy next week they are going to have to roll me into a gondola and back on the plane!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!

So here's how I see it.  Trying to be perfect will burn you out. You aren't alway going to be in your best tip top shape. Anyone that pretends like they are is a douche and they probably sit around all day editing pics for Facebook trying to make their lives and selves look beyond perfect...Yawn. Or maybe they are a pro, which I am NOT as proof in the magically delicious mini Buddha belly i am growing. Haha!!

 Try your best, even though your best effort may fluctuate in a major way from time to time.  Be yourself and love it, no matter how off your off seasons may be! 

 Have a great week ( or two, or three, I've been slack)!! :)


Monday, September 2, 2013

The End Of The World

    Is a set back like minor surgery the end of the world?  I guess not. It may feel like it though.  It's only my gallbladder coming out so I know it's NOT really the end of the world, but let me tell you why I am SCARED TO DEATH.....

      I've never been off from working out for more then a rest week since being sober. It's like my AA.  I obsess over it.  It fulfills a void and I crave it. It's the single most important part of my day and sets the tone for how everything goes. Its my passion and I've been doing it for years.  Not lifting for 6 weeks may not seem like much to some, and I know it could be a way worse situation, but it still seems like a lifetime to me. I had certain goals and plans and they have been derailed.  I've had to ax doing the oly competition with my daughter and I'm now reevaluating my schedule for my next competition.  No April for me for sure like I planned.  I don't want to feel rushed.  It will be the middle of November before I can lift again. Having to make up for lost workout time and then start dieting down a couple weeks later isn't going to work for me.  I want to IMPROVE at my next competition not feel less then my best.  I think waiting to compete is a tough decision but the right one.  

     I'm hoping I can at least do cardio after a week or so and I plan on walking hundreds of miles in my ankle weights to stay sane.  Hey who knows maybe it will work out for the best and I will trim down enough to do figure like I always wanted!!! ;) Ahhhhhhh stripper heels and blingged bikinis!!!!! That's what I'm talkin bout!!!!!!!! HAHA!! ;) PRETTY PRETTY POSES!!!!

                                           (Ok maybe figure is a stretch HAHA!!)

       So I have to keep a strong mind, try not to obsess until I go mad, and remember that a set back just turns into a comeback. I know I'm going to feel better after getting this surgery and kick more ass then ever.  I already stomp girls on that board nearly half my age so fuck it.  Maybe it will give them a hot minute to try and catch up....

    Don't let set backs ruin your world. It's not the end.  Even if it is as small as a few candy bars or something bigger like a broken limb.  Comeback, keep a good positive attitude, don't talk down about yourself or act defeated. You are better then that and so am I... No doubt. (I'm going to try my best to keep all this in the front of my mind!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ). Have a great week! 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Playing Catch Up

      We all do it. It's cool.  It's been a hot minute since I wrote a post which is unusual for me.  I'm usually pretty good about writing once a week.  It helps me stay focused and feel accountable. Im behind on a bunch of other stuff like housework and yard work too. I'm convinced I do everything but exercise and sexy time half ass at this point! HAHA!! However in my defense of not posting on here, I did write a blog for Breaking Muscle check it out if you haven't yet. ;)  it was pretty cool and I enjoyed doing it.

     So in the last few weeks I wrote for a bad ass site, came down with a mystery illness and had a unforgettable junk food, mother/ daughter beach trip, that was amazing.  Hopefully after a emergency room trip, a couple ct scans, tons of blood work and a crap load of other tests, they figure out what the hell had me laid up for days last week. It was crazy and I was miserable laying around and not working out. I'm hoping its just my gallbladder or something simple. Luckily they did catch that I needed more thyroid medicine during this debacle. So now I understand why I've been a napaholic recently. Apparently I wasn't just being a lazy "bulking" fatty.  I feel totally fine now and see the surgeon again on Friday and he'll hopefully have some answers this time. Wha wha wha.....

    The beach trip was amazing. My daughter and I really needed that.  I'm always on her about eating healthy so from Friday afternoon until Sunday night we did not put one healthy thing in our bodies. It was a BLAST!  Nothing but convertible rides, sun, sand, surf and girl time.  I'm also getting pretty good with my camera.  I really enjoy it and I'm attempting to learn my way around some editing.  I need to find a class or something.

So I'm back on it and on a good schedule again.  I'm even thinking about training people here and there. I mean I already email workouts and advice constantly, maybe I should expand it a little... We'll see....

Back on my regular recipes and training to post next week.  Let us always try to remember to have fun in life and never take our health for granted.  Without it we don't have much of anything at all.  Stay healthy, happy, and focused AND HAVE A GREAT WEEK!! 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

I'm A Loser...

     Ok, I know I'm not a loser.... Far from it.  However, I'm human and my mind can play tricks on me and I feel like one sometimes.  Old habits have been creeping back in the last few weeks. It starts off slow and then BAM.....My blood type is suddenly chocolate hazelnut butter.  I've been getting lazy and have been slacking on food prep. It's time consuming and quite frankly I'm tired of the constant fucking cooking.  It happens. I had a little break. It's not a big deal. I just had to remember my goals, regroup, and prep like I know how for the upcoming week. Tomorrow is a new day. I need to start it off right. 

Even though I have been missing some meals, and not eating balanced ones when I do, I have still been an absolute rockstar in the kitchen.  I mean check out that deliciousness!!! Hot sausage topped mushrooms with paleo pizza sauce and sautéed eggplant. Pretty self explanatory. Throw your favorite sausage on your favorite mushrooms and bake through.  WIN!

I also absolutely destroyed these paleo sliders...

I cooked mini burgers and topped with my favorite toppings.  I baked the sweet potato rounds in the oven with some olive oil, s&p, and thyme.  We had cinnamon bacon acorn squash for a side. Another WIN! 

There's lots of yumminess on my Pinterest  check it out YO!! :)

Training wasn't so hot.  I did my squats but struggled.  My hips are hurting because it is heavy. I saw my savior Dr Lancaster at Cumberland Massage Therapy in Da 'Ville and she got this old girl straight.  I'm ready to get after it this week.  Plus IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!!  My not so little one is going to middle school.  Crazy!!!

Cook some deliciousness, if you fall off track get back on and have a great week!!! 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Don't Blink....

    Seriously don't.  Time is just flying by.   When I was younger, stupid and drunk it went slow as hell.  Now that I'm older, beyond happy, a little wiser and have some sobriety under my belt, it is going so fast that I would give ANYTHING to have it slow down a little bit.  I can't believe it.  I FEEL LIKE AN ADULT SOMETIMES ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

     I swear every time I blink, my kid is more and more grown....texting, heading to the mall with friends or at a sleep over.  Growing up and growing a bit further away from me everyday.  It's all normal I know, and I am happy for her to be changing and figuring out things for herself, but that doesn't make it any less difficult.  She's my only one and it feels like she was just learning how to walk and talk about 3 seconds ago.  Ugh...

    This brings us to my next goal, drum roll........AN OLYMPIC LIFTING MEET WITH MY BABY!!! Duh!!!  She is 10 and totally going to kick my ass but I don't give a shit.  I just want to make some more great memories and compete side by side before she is tooooooo cool to do anything with this old mom of hers. ;)  Its going to be fun.  I can't wait.  October is when this goes down.  Who else is in?!?! ;)

     It was a great week of training and the highlight was definitely the 31 Heroes WOD at East Coast CrossFit. Hero WODs are not something I do often, it's my personal opinion that they are special and should not be over done. I take them extremely seriously.  These brave men gave their lives for me to be free and even though I can never repay the debt, honoring them by giving that tough workout all I got is something I don't take lightly. The CrossFit community is pretty fucking awesome.  Just another reason why no matter how many times I try to leave, I end up back. The comradery is unmatched. No doubt.

Emma and I baked some cupcakes today after the event.  I ate at least eight myself...I shall pay tomorrow in many ways for sure!!! It was awesome!!

Enjoy those little ones while you can and have a great week!!! 


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Honey Mustard Slut

    That's me for sure.  I LOVE it.  I eat it on just about anything. That store shelf corn syrup crap is so bad for you though, so I started throwing together my own cave girl friendly version.  It has become really fun for me to take my favorite things and turn them Paleo.  Everything from potato salad to pancakes.... It's an enjoyable challenge you can feel good about.

Cave girl honey mustard:
A couple giant squirts of a good Dijon mustard
A small glob of honey
A couple teaspoons of mayo ( I'm too lazy to make my own Paleo version, so I just use Duke's I'm not crazy super strict about it.)
A splash of red wine vinegar and some poppy seeds
Mix well, I don't really measure...I just kinda know how much of each ingredient I like.  It's yummy.

        Ok, ok so back to my not so perfect food reality. I went to a fantastic concert this week. 

I ended up stuck in some bad weather and eating crap like pretzels, burgers and diet soda while there. I got back on track, however that process isn't the easiest as some of you may know. Luckily I don't need to detox or anything but it still blows. I want to eat a whole cake in one sitting, and after missing a day or two of my meals, and 3 hour schedule, I struggle for a bit to cram in everything I'm supposed to.  I'm not hungry and I'm groggy. It really showed in my performance Friday morning.  My kid kicked my ass by 2+ minutes at :

5 rounds:
10 overhead squats 95#
10 handstand push ups
10 toe to bars
2 min of max effort step ups

I was gasping and she didn't even look like she worked out.  What you put in definitely plays a huge role in what you put out. NO DOUBT!! Luckily I only fell off the wagon for a very short period so by Saturday I was feeling good again..... Just don't ask me to run...squat program+ running = fucked. 

Training was a bit off this week, our whole family was slammin busy but, it was for awesome stuff and totally worth it!! I MISSED A SQUAT DAY THOUGH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BLLLLAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Monday: hatch squat program, stiff dead lifts and leg curls and extensions. Then at CrossFit, 8 rds of 2 min row 1 min abzzzzz, then some light ankle weight stuff for mommy butt. 

Tues: 20 min amrap of 6 chest to bar pull ups, 1 min handstand hold, 800 meter run and 12 box jumps. I went an extra round it felt good and I needed to burn off some more energy.

Wed: arms and abs with pops at The Fit Factory. I was destroyed. No 100 rep sets but I swear I didn't get any rest.  5lb dumb bells can be very humbling. 

Thurs: off to a photo shoot with my kiddo.  I was supposed to squat.... Wha wha wha...chicken legs!

Fri: posted above

Sat: This was a ton of fun!!!

Sun: max out front squat, back squat and strict pull ups

    In a few weeks I am going to try and hit the globo more.  Im missing calves and pullups I know I need to do it, I'm training for a show in April but you just can't beat the camaraderie of CF.  The fun and company is definitely welcomed after such a rigorous globo/ cardio training schedule plus my Amber moving this past spring.  I think I'm finding a good balance of " I want to be a decent crossFitter that swings by and has fun, but I also want to train isolated muscles and throw on a blingged out bikini all shredded and jacked once in a while".  My mind changes so much who really cares...I'm having fun, staying healthy and spending my husbands money, can't ask for much more then that in my little fit freak world. I may have another goal I'm cooking up for October though... Stay tuned for next weeks announcement blog ;) We'll see....

    Before I go I need to touch on a couple people I met this week.  On the way home from the concert we stopped off at a Waffle House in the middle of Deliverence/ Alberemarle NC.  It was nearly 3am.  I was expecting a giant shit box that I didn't even want to use the bathroom in for fear of disease.  I figured I'd find at least one pube in my food.  We found quite the contrary.  It was AMAZING!! We had service that you would be pressed to find in some of the most expensive restaurants. It was incredibly clean and I MEAN SUPER CLEAN! Our food was exceptionally good for a Waffle House. We began to talk to our server and she was also the manager, her daughter was the cook.  She took such pride in her job and it showed. They were both so thankful for what they had and it was heart warming.  Their store is ranked #8 in the nation!!! Hello!!!!! There is like 1600 Waffle Houses and that IS something to be proud of!!!! That freaking rocks!! It was a great reminder that no matter what you do....take great pride in makes you happy, confident, content and people see that and take notice.   I better get my shit together!!! ;)

Take great pride in what you do, even if its just making your own honey mustard and eating waaaaay tooooo much of it, AND HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Feed The Beast!!

    Skipping meals is the worst thing you can do.  You need fuel and when you don't consistently give goodness to your body it will begin to store everything you shove in it.   Eat, eat, eat, every few hours.   Eat yummy, clean, good for you stuff. Not garbage.  You don't deserve to be treated so poorly, so don't treat your body like a dumpster behind a jerk joint bar and grill on Bragg Boulevard.   After competing and going off the junk food deep end for a few weeks I was glad to hang it up and stop feeling so gross and sluggish.  It's amazing how much what you put in effects what performance comes out.  I feel great and it's not a chore, it easily became habit again.   After feeling so badly it is welcomed.  It's been a few weeks and I'm over the hump. I feel great and it shows in my energy levels and performance in the gym.  I am hitting my squat program, plus my other regular training and even a few CrossFit wods a week with no problem.  It's all this awesome fuel for sure!  Here's some of what I ate this past week: 

      This off season " gain" ( or bulking or whatever douchy thing you wanna call it)  is so different from the dieting down.  I can hardly cram it all in but my energy is through the roof. The servings of meat and shakes is ridiculous.  I eat spinach as much as I can and throw it in to anything I can. I truly believe its not humanly possible to eat too much of that green goodness.
  After I work out I cram down a shit ton of steal cut oats or sweet potatoes covered in maple syrup and fruit until near explosion.  Especially on leg day.  I need to grow THAT ASS!!!!  It's starting to work.....  Squat heavy, often, and EAT, EAT, EAT!!!!

Here's a couple of my recipes that are easy and a family hit.

Enjoy this wonderful season of gorgeous colorful berries and melons!   I LOVE SUMMER!!! The less clothes and more colorful food the better NO DOUBT!!! Fuel your body with real food and have a great week!!!!!