Sunday, September 29, 2013

My Name Is ____ And I'm Proud Of It All.


     No fucking some of you already know fitness fills a void of alcohol for me and I've been gratefully sober for years now. So I'm home from a awesome vacation and the impending doom of this gallbladder coming out is kinda like a black cloud hanging over me....T minus 6 days but I'm ready to get this show on the road! 

     I'm obsessing about not being able to work out for 6 weeks...bad.  Really bad.  It's normal for me though. Once an addict always one FO SHO!  It's nice that I'm healthy enough mentally at this point in my life to realize what's going on though and handle it accordingly. I'm very thankful for that and I'm proud of it.  Which brings me to my point.  This past week has been amazing and I've had a minute to reflect on it. I've been to Venice rubbing elbows with everyone from company executives to service techs. I've been to my husbands high school reunion and actually enjoyed meeting everyone. It doesn't matter who I sit down with or where. I can kill it in the middle of Europe at a five star resort or at a cruddy coffee shop down the street.  I can remember years ago when anything like this would of made me nervous and uncomfortable and I would just shut down.  When I relied on my husband to do everything down to a simple phone call. Never again and here's why.  I love myself and I'm proud of who I am and where I came from doesn't matter the situation. I love walking into a room and dominating it. The people that truly matter love me being me, soooooo, whether I'm around the pope or a homeless guy on the corner of Ramsey St, I am who I am and they can take it or leave it, either way I'm going to act the same. 

      When you stop caring what others think you will thrive as your own person and people will end up flocking to you. You automatically start changing for the better when you think positively about yourself.  I may not be a rocket scientist or some kind of millionaire financeiere but I am who I am and this skin is the most comfortable on earth to me now. I'm proud of my lows, and believe me there were some pretty dark days. They have brought me to these highs of happiness and I look around at my husband and child and have to pinch myself sometimes.  I can't believe how happy I am and im so thankful that we didn't pussy out and we worked hard to change and make our life completely awesome.   None of this started happening until I started treating myself right and being proud of me. Having confidence no matter the situation.   Doesn't matter if you are a house wife, a hooker or doctor.  Take pride in it, be yourself and everything will fall into pace.  At first it is work and then it just happens. 

     Now time for me to put my head down and take this opportunity of workout hiatus to grow stronger mentally and regrain focus.  I need to remind myself that's it's not that bad of a hand to be delt so I need to think positive about my 6 week "rest".    Oh boy..... Ugh....

Be yourself, don't try to act like someone you aren't,  and remember:  lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.  Ever. 

Have a great week! 


 Ps: I do need to mention that I am detoxing from all my crap food right now therefore attempting to not get a murder charge tonight.... Seriously.  It's bad.  Wish my family luck!!

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